1000 words
by Psycho-kyugurl
Summary: Please let me utter these thousand words before too late... Jenruki Get the tissues ready... An alternative story from Eyes On Me, recommended if you like that fic.


If you like the previous fic, _Eyes On Me_, then this is something you might adore as well. It's been a while since I've written anything...but let me assure you I'll do my best of the sake of Jenrya fans out there. This time around it's 1000 words sang by Koda Kumi in FFX-2, but this is the international version. Enjoy.

**1000 words**

**By : Psycho-kyugurl**

_I know that you're hiding things_

_Using gentle words to shelter me_

_Your words were like a dream_

_But dreams could never fool me_

_Not that easily_

That morbid expression that once haunt your gracile features of a fine young lad isn't very common nowadays ever since the return from the summer camp. You would grin sardonically every time you bumped into your acquaintances – returning the greetings from your fellow peers or perhaps exchanging a few nods before proceeding down the pathway. I have tried to smile and say 'Hi' to you but all that was ever said was formal pleasantries and a few smiles. Nothing could ever divert your attention to me.

"Ah, it's quaint to see you around right now. Aren't you having chemistry class now?" You would always ask without fail as you beamed that sardonic smile of yours.

Chemistry...classes...breaks... are that the only limited subject we are able to discuss and talk about?

"Well yes...that _is _till you jump into my way and ward off the eagerness to rush to the lesson." I replied bleakly, though with hints of thick sarcasm.

"Oh really...I shall be on the way then, see ya'!" Those dreamy words were uttered without any hesitation. You acted as if you didn't care. You acted as if you were a passerby disrupting the life of another. And you passed me by as if I was nothing but a mere spot in your fully-painted canvas.

I could feel the distance, ever so visibly as you sauntered away breezily.

Slowly and excruciatingly, I writhe slowly from the inside.

And that apologetic smile wasn't exactly alleviating the pain.

_I acted so distant then_

_Didn't say goodbye before you left_

_But I was listening_

_You'll fight your battles far from me_

_Far too easily_

__

I didn't think I was strong enough to watch your back. I didn't think I was strong enough to watch you walking away from me. I didn't think I was even strong enough to watch you chatting enthusiastically to other girls even if you were only pretending to do so. I guess I was never strong enough when it comes to matters dealing with _you_.

_I_ am to weak.

A week after that I never did you see you again in the hallway. A month later you seemed to have vanished completely as if by magic. Those senseless rumours about your whereabouts have even died down. Where...where could you be?

It would be only a matter of time before I break out off this shackles that were enforced on my sanity. I... have to find you.

"Hey Rumiko, guess what?! I've just got the latest news from the seniors! They have overheard the conversation between the lecturers in the common room about the missing Chinese guy. It seems that he is going to move to the States in a few days time!!"

"Oh wow, really? No wonder he was nowhere to be seen!"

I cracked. That was a flicker of agony at the sheer mention of your presence. The agony had no physical to it but cut me as deeply as a self-inflicted wound. Emotions gushed out fleetingly.

Here, behind shuttered eyelids, I was afforded with the worst answers of all...

"You know, I heard that he maybe suffering from some brain cancer...I really hope it's not true."

And what hurt me most is the fact that you didn't bid any last goodbyes.

_"Save your tears cause I'll come back"_

_I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door_

_But still I swore_

_To hide the pain when I turn back the pages_

"_I promise I would return home safely. So please, don't give me that fiery look... you look better when you're smiling."_

These words echoed for eternity. The last, foreboding words you ever said before the battle to save the world. The last uttered words that soothed my conscience before falling of the edgy cliff.

Through tearful self I vowed not to evince the distress.

And to uphold this vow, I pressed myself not to cry.

_Shouting might have been the answer_

_What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart_

_But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart_

I do not remember how I received these bandages. I remembered the voice of your name and the descending darkness, the chaotic atmosphere and the rushing footsteps and right after that...I could remember no more.

And now I ended up hospitalized.

The white ceiling stared back at my disorientated self. I shivered with fear.

_Brain cancer...leaving for the States..._ It all flashed through in one smooth motion. The cancerous tissues in your brain must have developed right after the battle with D-Reaper.

It's my fault...all my fault. I should have insisted of not letting you go. I should have insisted that you are not capable in fighting against the evil, monstrous creature. And it was then when everything hit me...

I know. I finally know.

I know the reason behind these series of suffering and torment...and that's why I am feeling like this. That's why I feel like the most sinful being in the world right now – someone who is unable to love anyone else.

Maybe I really am.

_Though a thousand words_

_Have never been spoken_

_They'll fly to you_

_Crossing over the time and distance holding you_

_Suspended on silver wings_

That night I poured my emotions and feelings out – all sprawled across a piece of white parchment.

_And a thousand words_

_One thousand confessions_

_Will cradle you_

_Making all of the pain you feel seem far away_

_They'll hold you forever_

And I hope these written emotions will – _somehow_ – reached you and released you from the eroding pain that you have been suffering.

And all of these shall be sealed up in this white envelope.

_The dream isn't over yet_

_Though I often say I can't forget_

_I still relive that day_

_"You've been there with me all the way"_

_I still hear you say_

I ran all the way, from the hospital to the dark alley streets and through parks and complexes to your house.

You were there by my side when I gone through the worse time in my life. You were there by my side when I needed pieces of advice. You were never thinking of yourself because you felt as if you needed to take care of me.

_You_ were indeed my precious guardian angel. And now I shall be your guardian angel.

_"Wait for me I'll write you letters"_

_I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor_

_But still I swore to hide the doubt_

_When I turn back the pages_

_Anger might have been the answer_

_What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait_

_But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late_

I know it's not too late to mend everything. There is still time to confess these hidden feelings of mine. Please god...please, I beg you...please give me another second, just another second and I will mend everything with these very own hands.

_Cause a thousand words_

_Call out through the ages_

_They'll fly to you_

_Even though we can't see I know they're reaching you_

_Suspended on silver wings_

"He's not here. They were supposed to leave for the States today but he had suddenly fainted in front of the house. The ambulance had taken him to the nearest hospital."

My feet carried themselves all the way back to the hospital. I was terrified and scared. I could almost feel my pulse halting for a moment when I heard the news from his neighbours. Crunching the white envelope, I rushed to the counter, shouted for his name and I was shown the way towards his ward.

Seconds were wasted, minutes were gone and the hallway continued on forever. Fear was nailed onto my visage, and it was spreading to my entire body through the blood vessels. I carried on running, clutching onto any last hopes that may bring me to him. I didn't want to lose an important person to me anymore. Never ever again.

And eternity drifted me by when I reached his ward. The envelope fell off from the grip of my hand.

_Oh a thousand words_

_One thousand embraces_

_Will cradle you_

_Making all of your weary days seem far away_

_They'll hold you forever_

I blinked. Again...

...again...

...and _again_...

A spasm of nausea broke liked a flood from the dam, sweeping over my worn out self as I stared shakily at the pale figure from the glass window. Alice was by his side and he was sleeping peacefully, freed from his wretched misery.

The outside world was signing the song of requiem. Pelting droplets began to smash into the closed windows of the hospital while the sky performed the epitaph.

I couldn't bring myself to walk into the ward, nor could I bring myself to step away from the window. Instead I fell down with a loud thud, with the envelope and papers randomly scattered all over the floor which were written:

_Henry, I love you._

_Forever yours... Rika._

_Oh a thousand words_

_Have never been spoken_

_They'll fly to you_

_They'll carry you home and back into my arms_

_Suspended on silver wings ohhh_

_And a thousand words_

_Call out through the ages_

_They'll cradle you_

_Turning all of the lonely years to only days_

_They'll hold you forever_

**T H E E N D**


End file.
